Why Do We Love Clothes So Much?

The Restorative Power of What We Wear

As I kick off my Winter No-Buy, I’ve given a lot of thought to why so many of us are enamored with personal style. Why do we love playing dress up? What is it about styling our clothes and the psychology around it that makes for such a desired topic on which so many Substack newsletters, Youtube channels, and Instagram accounts thrive?

Here’s my take:

Getting dressed for our day is the one act of creativity that no one can take away from us.

It’s also a creative act that most of us share. Some of us have more or less time with which to play with our wardrobes, or more or less items to play with, but at the very least, we have to grab things from our drawers and hangers and put them on our bodies. Society generally requires it of us. Or, if you have large windows and no blinds (like me), it’s a must to avoid an awkward run-in with your UPS driver.

A little peek at where I’m grabbing from.

For many of us, creative hobbies dissolved with childhood. In fifth grade, my best friend and I spent our lunch period in our science teacher’s room writing sci fi novels while we ate (bless him). We sat in orange metal chairs scribbling away in our notebooks at our little wooden desks. Why? Because we liked it! Not one damn person read those novels (to my knowledge, though I would pay big money to read one now). We didn’t even read each other's. We wrote our little fifth grade hearts out simply because it made us happy.

Somewhere along the line, the shadow of adulthood planted the idea in our heads that there is no point in fostering creative hobbies unless they somehow profit us.

Hobbies only remain worthwhile if they further our careers or turn into a side-hustle that we then turn into an e-course to sell to other people looking for ways to fast-track their side-hustles. On Instagram, of course.

Back to our closets.

I shared this thought on January 1st:

Sometimes the simplest concepts light me up. While I’ve had many iterations of this thought in my 36 years, it never quite stuck in the landing pad of my psyche. We have the power to treat every single new day as just that – new. It’s a fresh opportunity to make what you want of it, or to embrace the ride (or both!).

What we wear also has that restorative power.

What I choose to wear daily is as varied as my moods, and I’m privileged to be able to choose. Sometimes I want comfort, and I put on an oversized sweatsuit, fuzzy socks, and throw my hair in a scrunchie. Other days, I want to feel polished and put together, so I throw on a crewneck sweater, bold earrings and lipstick, and slick my hair back into a low bun. More often than not, I want to feel relaxed and playful, mixing a little bit of everything together until I find a look that feels harmonious with my mood and functional for the activities in the day ahead (likely working and chasing toddlers).

If I don’t tune in to my needs when getting dressed, or I simply don’t have the luxury of time to do anything other than slap on some underwear and a pair of sweats, I tend to feel off. Grumpy, even. The second I have time to go in and adjust what isn’t resonating, I feel more cheerful. It’s partly vanity — oh, yes!— but it’s also so much more than that. How I dress reconnects me with my body in a world that’s devalued physical connection. It plants my feet on the ground and unplugs me from the matrix. I’m choosing how I adorn this delightful pile of flesh and bones, and it feels good to choose something in world in which we can often feel we lack agency.

The same restorative feeling can be applied to other moments of creation and connection. Writing gives me that same warmth. So does reading. So does stepping outside, looking up at the sky, and noticing the spongy pattern of the clouds and a flitter of wings on their way to anywhere they want. Playing a game of “tickle monster” with my daughters and husband. Laughing over a drink with an old friend. None of these things add money to my bank account or satiate my insatiable productivity obsession. They simply make me happy.

May we all find the things that restore us worthy of our time. I’d argue there’s nothing more deserving.

In a rare move, I’m leaving the house today. There’s nothing more restorative than brunch with dear friends in a pair of leopard pants.

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More notes to come. Thanks for being here. I hope you take a moment today to do something just because it makes you happy.

XO

Reiko

P.S. - Why do you think we love clothes so much? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.